OK, we had what I think was our first real "freeze"last night. Kit and Maddie did their traditional "sleep under the Christmas tree" on the first official night it's up. John called to firm up plans for Kate to spend her holiday break here in NC with us. It's beginning to look at lot like Christmas!
Every year after we decorate the tree, we put in "National Lampoons Christmas Vacation" and laugh our heads off. I quote the lines and make the same stupid comments and jokes every year. And every year, Kit, acts as if he hasn't heard me say the same things the same way every year. God bless him for putting up with me.
So far operation "keep our family Christmas tree safe"seems to be working. Baby Jack-Jack has not yet wrestled the tree to the floor or attempted to climb up it. But yet it is only the 8th, there is plenty of time for all sorts of family fun, or gosh forbid, ER visits.
Maddie obsessed over getting the darn angel on top of the tree. It took us a couple days to actually locate it up in the attic. Anyway, she is safely up on her perch and now we can all rest easier.
I used to think that when grown ups got all sentimental around the holidays it was weird. Surely, that wouldn't happen to me. Whats there to be all smushy about anyway? It's all good right? Cool lights, great home cooking, festivity everywhere ya look? Lots of love, peace and of course, presants. Whats to cry about???
Like any other time of year, I believe, it is a "choice" to be happy. Or sad, or stressed out, or well, ya get the idea. God, I hate actually saying that statement. But, like it or not. It's true. But this week, has been a crazy tough week for me to actually choose my mood.
I am finding myself ............remembering. This year has been a special year. There has been significant (at least to me) loss in my life. I think God really knew that I needed something amazing to occur to help me get through the loss part. So, as anyone who has read my blog knows, God sent me Jackson. Our beautiful son. God has blessed me so much. I appreciate all the blessings. I'm just afraid most of the time, that I'm gonna "f" it up.
I feel like I want to write about the loss I expierenced in the last year. I'm not sure I can actually get through writing about either one of them. There were two. But, I'm gonna go ahead and give it a shot.
Let's start with Riley. OK, not good, all I did was type his name and my eyes are tearing. What the heck is my problem anyway. I grieved. I think I did a decent job of that. I'm bad at a lot of things. Grieving is not one of them. I'm a great griever. I cry. I share funny little stories about the life of the departed. I stop eating (for like a day) and I start back up. Still eating. I'm a good eater too...btw. OK, back to Ri.
When my ex-hubby, John and I got married, I made him agree to getting a dog. He wasn't exactly a dog person. More a cat kind of guy. But nonetheless, he begrudgingly committed to letting me bring a dog into our home, once we had an actual home.
Within 5 months of our wedding, we found out we were expecting. A baby that is. Not the dog, atleast not yet. Knowing we were going to need more space than the apartment we had so we found a home we liked on the outskirts of Pittsburgh, PA. Our offer hadn't even been accepted yet and I was calling the vet to see what breeders she recommended.
I knew I wanted a golden retriever. For two reasons. 1: I've always wanted a golden retriever. and 2: my mother is allergic to most things with fur. Especially, long gold hair. That last comment was meant to be a joke, but the truth of it is, having a pet that my mother couldn't be around for long amounts of time, came in handy.
I found a breeder in Swickley, Pa. She had a momma-to-be dog, named Sara. Sara was due any day. I put my name on the adoptive parents list. Submitted to an intense questioning and background check and waited for the call that the puppies had arrived.
On May 12,1994, I got the call. The puppies were here. All healthy. Now, all I had to do was go for a visit and pick out the pup that would be "mine". I remember the rainy day that I took myself over to the breeders home. The breeder took me down into the finished basement to meet "mama Sara". I slowly walked over to the welping pen and met mom briefly. She had these huge beautiful brown eyes and she looked.............tired. But she was a magnificent golden. Seeing her in person, I could understand why Sara had won all of the titles that she had.
Mom was taken out back for some "me time" and I was allowed to "pick my puppy". I remember this like it was yesterday. I sat down in the welping pen with the babies. There were 12 puppies. 7 girls and 5 boys. I had heard that boy goldens bond more with their female owners and girls with the male owners. I had thought then, I'd want a boy puppy. But I hadn't made up my mind yet.
I carefully help each and every puppy for a good bit. One at a time. Even at this early, and eye closed stage, they had individual little personalities. Some were just looking to find where the food was at. Some were sleepy. Some were pretty active and curious as to what had a hold of them. Then, there was Ri. I picked him up and immediately noticed he had a big brown spot on the tip of his nose. I wasn't planning on showing my dog, so I thought it was just a cute little trait. I put him on my chest and he literally, snuggled right up to me. I didn't believe in love at first sight. Not till then. What happened at that moment was.............love. I was done for. He was to be "mine".
I sat holding him for what was probably a long time. Until mom was brought back in to feed the troops again. I hated to say goodbye to Ri. But, it was only for a little while. The breeder gave me visitation rights anytime I wanted until the puppies were old enough to go to their new homes.
I visited. I took video and pictures of my "baby boy". I called for updates on him. I probably drove the poor breeder nutty. Needless to say, she was ready,even a little early, for me to pick up the puppy at 7 weeks.
Riley was supposed to be "crate trained". We had the crate and Riley was put in there whenever we had to go to work or out somewhere. I spoiled him. I couldn't stand to listen to him wimper in the crate at night when we would go to sleep. So, I did the thing your not supposed to do. I snuggled him in bed with me. Riley and I were tight.
I did all the potty breaks in the middle of the night. I taught Ri how to sit, lay down and the one or two other commands he knew. We were moving along swimmingly.
Ri loved to put his head on my pregnant belly and feel the baby kick. He'd lay his head on my stomach and sit and wait for a kick. When he felt the kick, his ears would go up but he'd keep his head right on my stomach, waiting for another round of kicks.
Everything was fine until the baby thought about coming early. I went into pre-term labor at a painstakingly early 24 weeks. After a few days in the hospital, I was sent home on medication and complete bedrest. No joke. Not allowed out of bed except to go to the bathroom. Ugh.
John had to work during the day and I couldn't risk taking the puppy out for a walk. What the heck would this poor little 12 week old pup have to do?
Most puppies would've done what puppies do. Go nuts. Chew and pee on everything. That would be "normal" puppy behavior. We didn't have anyone to call to help during the day with Ri.But the first day of bedrest, the strangest thing happened. John took Ri out for a good "out"before he left for work. He made sure Ri had his breakfast. Then Riley crawled up onto the bed with me and snuggled in. That little boy dog stayed quietly on the bed next to me the ENTIRE day. When John came home from work, Ri ran to the door and met him to go out. But, no accidents, no surprises. He was as good as "gold". Excuse the pun.
The next 3 &1/2 months were the same way. Ri considered himself on "doggie" bedrest with me. I'd read to him. We'd watch our favorite tv shows together. We shared snacks and take naps all snuggled up together in the bed.
Riley got me through that pregnancy. But that was just the beginning. Riley loved baby Kate. He took having her around very seriously. He slept under her crib when she napped. Although, at night, he still slept wherever I was. When she cried, he'd come get me. When she learned to sit up, Ri would lay next to her on the floor and watch her every move.
When Kate was ready, Ri helped her learn to walk. Just like he did with Maddie when she learned to walk. Ri would position himself with his hind end to the kids. He'd start out lying in front of them and he'd let them grab onto his tail. Then he'd slowly stand up allowing the kids to get upright.