It's been forever since my last post. I was feeling like things were leveling out. I guess to some extent they are. I just finished reading my spouses blog (for the first time in months). I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed that he never mentions me, his wife. But he goes on and on about his bike, his rides, his stuff that has to do with riding. I get that riding makes him happy. I try to always encourage him to go out and ride.
But all the good stuff that is happening here in the family (Katy, Maddie and Jackson) I guess only is important enough in my eyes to incorporate in my blog. I am the mother so I guess that comes with the job. I am thrilled to have Katy here back home. She is so grown up. She just gets more and more beautiful and smart and I am over the moon to have her here.
This will be short as I'm still contemplating what REALLY matters to my husband. This makes me sad.
My emotions have leveled out, thank goodness. Maddie and I both are in therapy. Kit keeps saying he's going to start. We'll see.
I just am getting to where I feel a weird combination of numbness along with emotional and physical pain. But at the end of the day, I think I'm just about............over it. I love my husband with my whole heart, but his mood swings has become so apparent to me. I guess now that my head is clearer I notice that stuff more.
It's probably my fault, after all I've put him through this year. Sigh................when do you realize that enough is really enough and if you be happy together what is the next move??
But my children, are my world. And atleast the fighting has pretty much stopped in the house and there is a sort of peace in our family. I can deal with that. As long as my children are thriving.
My life, my feelings, my dreams and aspirations are,............well, not on the list of stuff to concern myself with at this point.